TWOTY - The Wedding of the Year...

arrival at reception[photograph taken by Gavin Kauffman - the arch is actually made of redundant CDs glued together by Sasha, who is now an affirmed glue-sniffer. I'm not actually sure who brought the bubble-blowing equipment, but it was a brilliant idea!]

thanks to everyone who came, and made it such a special weekend - we loved every minute of it. To those who couldn't make it, you missed a splendid party or, to be more accurate, series of parties.

mac and piersin typical non-conformist fashion, we decided to hold our joint hen/stag night at home, the night before our wedding. This turned out to involve about 45 people squashed into our tiny house - thankfully, the weather smiled on us, and a lot of them were decanted into the garden, which we had lit with an assortment of candles (including a couple of rather surreal fish, one of which will make an appearance later). This photograph of myself and Piers Cawley was taken by Jon Honeyball at the party.

fifteen bottles of bubbly were consumed (a dozen of which were a wedding present from Jerry Ozaniec - thanks again, Jerry!), together with Lord knows what else, frankly. I know that the contents of our kitchen freezer (ice cubes, a selection of vodkas, and coffee beans) were decimated, and the credit card bill from the takeaway pizza place was huge - FFS, they even gave us a discount the next time we ordered! But it was a grand evening.

The Wedding of the Year
29 May 1999

the morning dawned fine and sunny, and I hurtled off to the hairdresser in Clevedon to have me barnet done. I returned to find that Clare (my daughter) and her boyfriend Paul had cleared up all the debris from the party the night before. anna (Father of the Bride), Jon (official chauffeur) and Tim (the photographer) had all arrived, and were ready to perform their various duties. Soon afterward, the flower girls arrived and off we went.

we were due at Weston-Super-Register office at 12.30 p.m., and left loads of time - just as well, as the traffic was hideous. Still, we all made it at the appointed hour, including the coachload of friends who had been conveyed from the village. The audience was all agog to hear what my full name is; thankfully, we had primed the Registrar, and I was married as "Mac" - the sigh of disappointment from the assembled congregation was very loud. The ceremony was simple, and very moving.

our dear little weather godwhile we were inside, the weather got worse and worse, and literally as we left the Registry Office, a huge clap of thunder was heard. Our personal weather god strikes again . . . Hazel reckoned that he was vexed at being jilted - who knows? But by the time we arrived at the pub, we had thunder, lightning, and torrential rain, the like of which has never been seen in Somerset before or since. In the circumstances, it seemed like a good idea to pop home on the way back from Weston and unplug the computers and the router (and check our e-mail, of course :)

We duly arrived at The Angel, to be greeted by dozens of friends, holding up the CD arch, and blowing bubbles at us. We felt like celebrities, the number of flash guns that were going off <g>. A good, and extremely alcoholic time was had by all - at least, we think it was.

for those who are interested in such things, I wore cream trousers and a cream voile shirt, hand painted with cream swirls (yes, it was rather cream - which was excellent, as I had told everyone that I was going to be married in scarlet :), and Pete was in full Georgian rig - black velvet frock coat, silver waistcoat, cravat, etc. Oh, and instead of a bouquet, I carried a peacock feather fan, in case you're wondering why this page is infested with feathers. We looked not at all bad, we reckon. Thankfully, Pat Silver had lent us a brace of wonderful cloaks - just as well, in light of the weather god's antics.

in no particular order, very special thanks are due to:

anna - who played her father of the bride role to perfection, and helped me choose that wonderful outfit, kept me calm, mopped up the tears, and lent me the beautiful bride's handkerchief. Thanks again, anna - you were a star.

Pam and Moz - what stunning outfits! You looked gorgeous, ladies - you did us proud. We would never have believed that either of you could do demure!

Pat for doing the flower girls' posies - they were wonderful. And for doing the alterations to my outfit and hiding it at her house so Pete couldn't see it, co-ordinating the flower girls, running Clare and Paul to the bus, and other numerous tasks. Oh, and for lending us the splendid cloaks - the perfect finishing touch :)

Jon for chauffeuring me, the father of the bride, and the flower girls to and from the ceremony, in the magnificently be-ribboned Merc. The journey was so smooth that Moz managed to do her nails on the way!

Henrik for not losing the rings, and for not taking the opportunity to pretend he'd lost them. And for his wonderful speech. And for just getting Pete there on time, against all the odds. The traffic was unbelievable.

Valerie for that cake - truly splendid! And her magnificent hair, of course. And for thinking of the marquee - what a good idea, in the circumstances.

Tom and Dorothy for their huge contribution to the budget

Sasha for that wonderful CD arch - most inventive! Have you taken up glue sniffing now?

Tim Biller for being official photographer - you can tell he did it for a living! We both loathe having our pictures took, and he made it almost painless. We can't wait to see the results.

Reverend Rodda for his Brother Bung impression, although he did do it with rather more panache than BB. 'Twas brilliant, Stephen - thanks again, although pretending to spray Bombay gin around gave me a very nasty fright. And I still fancy Jeff.

Robert for helping Pete to find that waistcoat, and lending Pete the silver topped cane. I married a vampire . . .

Kev for organising the Wedding Ale. I wonder if there's any left?

Clare and John for being witnesses at the ceremony, which was actually very moving. There was scarcely a dry eye in the house.

Mathias for wearing that ridiculous rubber suit.

Gland and Fetish for their wedding present. I wish we hadn't lost the keys . . .

and to Moyra and Graham, who brought the wonderful bottle of 1975 single cask malt whisky, which I discovered in the kitchen the day after our pre-wedding party - what a lovely present.

and although they can't read it here, a huge thanks to the guys at The Angel. The food was excellent, the service was great, and Pete's daughter gave us a lift home at the end of the evening. At least, our evening - I believe there were still plenty of party animals left for quite a while.

fish onnastickthe morning after the wedding, it transpired that we had issued an open invitation for coffee. Still, only about fifteen people turned up, and they were kind enough to arrive in relays, thus giving us time to keep refilling the coffee machine. In revenge, we frogmarched four of them over to the breeders of our Bengal cats, and Robert and Den reserved a kitten, which they have subsequently collected.

I do hope we haven't missed anybody. You all made it a smashing weekend, and gave us memories we will cherish forever.