kestrel

 

astonishing – take a look at this to see his plastic surgery down the years. More detail here

a warm welcome (or something) to agc, who has succumbed, and begged a code.

New Head of State for China

HU’S ON FIRST By James Sherman

(We take you now to the Oval Office.)

George W: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George W: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George W: That’s what I want to know.

Condi: That’s what I’m telling you.

George W: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of
China?

Condi: Yes.

George W: I mean the fellow’s name.

Condi: Hu.

George W: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George W: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya’ asking me for?

Condi: I’m telling you Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That’s the man’s name.

George: That’s who’s name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader
of
China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the
Middle East.

Condi: That’s correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of
China. Getme the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don’t want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of
milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the
U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi: Rice, here.

George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we
should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you
get Chinese food in the Middle East?

well done to the BBC news site

the Warren G. Harding Institute for Civic Responsibility in
the USA holds an annual essay contest on some aspect of politics and the
state.

the topic of the 1996 essay contest was “Good Government.” The winning
entry, in its entirety, was as follows:

“Good government. Good government. Sit. Stay.”

hacking up from Bristol to Suffolk on Friday, we hit the vileness that is the M25 at about 5.30 pm. The traffic reports told us that the motorway was running very slow for several miles, so we came off at the next junction – which was the M1 and, if anything, even worse. We crawled up to Luton, and stopped to buy a road atlas (where on earth has the one from the Moose gone?).

I decided to avail myself of the garage’s plumbing facilities. Imagine my horror when I tried to emerge, and heard the door handle fall to the floor – the door handle on the other side of the door :(. After a few minutes, perlmonger called through the door to see if I was ok, and I said “help” in a rather small voice. He summoned the yoof from behind the counter, who didn’t seem to be really bothered that he had a (now rather irate) woman imprisoned in his lavatory. So Pete got out his trusty Leatherman Crunch and dismantled the door furniture so I could emerge, unscathed but feeling quite viciously polite.

I said to the yoof that probably a sign on the door to indicate the fact that one could inadvertently be incarcerated might be a good idea, but he informed me that his customers wouldn’t like to find the facilities out of order. I suspect they wouldn’t actually like being locked in a grotty garage bog either, but I suppose it’s not my problem. At least, not any more.

excellent stuff here

further to sbisson’s posting yesterday re BMG, an article on The Reg demonstrates quite clearly their attitude towards their potential customers.

as it happens, all the blank CDs we have used this year have been for data back up (not music), but I suppose that doesn’t matter to the likes of Bertelsmann Music Group. We have lots of disks containing Linux distros, digital photos, etc, mind you, but I suppose they’d probably accuse us of lying.

I for one won’t buy a bloody CD again if they’re all copy protected, and I know I’m not alone.

this makes you think …